Glenn Roeder for England

Remember you heard it here first. In a surprising development the FA have woken up to the fact that Steve McClaren, despite his previous long record of success of management in the Premiership has been found wanting at international level, and have decided to appoint a new manager of the England national side.

Following in a long tradition of spotting managers with astute tactical prowess, Eriksson and McClaren only being the latest managers to lead the England team to unimaginable heights, the FA have decided that Glenn Roeder is the natural replacement for Steve McClaren. Despite Newcastle's expected loss yesterday against a hard to beat Sheffield Utd side, who have been next to unbeatable on the road (yesterday they managed to increase their away goal's tally to an amazing one goal) the FA have decided to replace McClaren with the Newcastle manager.

An FA spokesman claimed that Roeder has an unsurpassed ability to find excuses for his teams' dismal form, which will serve him well in the national role,

"No other manager in the English game has as much experience as Roeder in taking over a talented squad and underachieving. Glenn Roeder now has months' of experience in realising 'We probably would of won the game if Michael Owen weren't injured'. That kind of experience is invaluable and will serve him well on the international stage."