West Ham News Round Up

Carlton Cole heads the Premier League assists league after setting up Bowyer twice on Saturday. He has six assists for West Ham this season.

I also read this on the KUMB forum, so I can't account for its authenticity but it does ring true to me:

"Absolutely Fabulous star Joanna Lumley has been called up to the England squad as cover for the injured Scott Carson.

The call up of Lumley, 61, has surprised many England fans, being of mature years, a female actress and never having played football. However, England boss Steve Mclaren was quoted as saying 'I had a good look at Robert Green, but he didn't do enough for me. He has not played for Arsenal once this season. Also, whilst I wasn't at Pride Park yesterday I understand Green just stood around watching as the goals were flying in'."