Cole Not Licking Zola's Arse

Gianfranco Zola takes charge at West Ham today. Ironically, based on Saturday's game, the attack minded Zola will need to pay some attention to the West Ham defence.

Carlton Cole, however, is very excited at Zola's arrival,

"He wants to put his style of play and all of his experiences into how we play and these are exciting times for West Ham. I've got so much respect for him. I'm not licking his bum, I'm just saying everyone knows he's a model pro.

I don't see his lack of managerial experience as a risk, he's been through all levels of football and I think he'll do a great job here." (presumably Cole only licks the arses of those who doesn't respect)

One man who won't be joining West Ham today is Steve Clarke. Even Fat Frank Lampard thinks that Chelsea are mugs for treating one of their most loyal servants in this way,

"He has been an important member of the back-room staff for what we've done over the last few years. But if he feels he wants to go and do something different - I know he has intentions to be a manager in his own right - you can only wish him all the best."