The Daily Mail Losing Their Heads Again

The Daily Mail are predicting that the world will come to an end at lunch-time on Thursday. Apparently the only way to avoid the end of all life as we know it is for West Ham to sack their manager, sell all their players and get the fans to stick their heads up their own backsides whilst simultaneously whistling the national anthem.

The cause of this apocalypse, according to The Mail, is the collapse of the Icelandic economy. They say that Bjorgolfur Gudmundsson is so strapped for cash that West Ham will be forced to sell their club captain, Lucas Neill to Blackburn for £750,000 after failing to flog him off to Galatasaray or Portsmouth.

According to The Mail Gudmundsson holds Alan Curbishley personally responsible for the collapse of the subprime market in America, so he will soon be shown the revolving door at Upton Park.

West Ham will then be forced to sell Freddie Ljungberg, George McCartney, Anton Ferdinand and Robert Green (and any other player The Mail have seen linked to other clubs this summer). Gudmundsson will then presumably use the £10 million raised to prop up his Icelandic bank, which will in turn revive the Icelandic economy and spur the world economy to such an extent that recession will be avoided and the world will live as one again.